I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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