I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
