she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
