I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
