I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
