Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
