The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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