evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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