I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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