she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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