He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
