Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
When are your genitals available?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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