Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I want a musical about memes.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
