So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
