this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
