what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
