i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
