Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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