i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
