Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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