I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
