therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
