Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
