we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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