no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
