This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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