Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
