i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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