i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
