Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he thought i was a dude.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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