Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
