Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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