he told me I talked like a deaf person
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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