Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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