Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
