Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
