there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
