ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The air taste purple.
Randomize
