i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
