I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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