hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
