I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
