New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
