If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
