Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
