Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
