YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
