from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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