everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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