Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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